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21, Male
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I am who I am. Life goes on. I go to college in Ohio. I am studying Natural Resources Law Enforcement. I want to be a Park Ranger.

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Level 11 Blank Slate
Normal Whistle
Ranked as Police Officer

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2010-01-17 16:53:01 by ill



I always looked forward to getting that Culvers cake for my birthday, 

When the meyer dudes pulled a BB gun out on us and threatened to shoot us.

When someone (Meyers) put sugar cubes in the Saabs gastank. 

When you owed Al 100 bucks and he came pounding on your door looking for the money. Said he passed away now too.

When Dick came pounding on our door... for I don't remember the reason.

You sealed off the two west facing doors in your room so you only had one.

When I used to steal money from you. And that one time you hard the waterbill money on your side table and I took it right as you opened your eyes.

You always thought Harold was a pedo, or something.

At Harold's me using your phone to talk to ashley and pretty much not even saying anything to her.

You almost always picked me up after school, if not, it was off to great grandmas house until you picked me up around dinner time.

Buying that red car (INSERT MAKE HERE), and repairing it a bit - for extra money and actually selling it to someone.

I always wanted to play H-O-R-S-E or P-I-G, or catch with you, and always being so sad when you'd say no. Not realizing how hard you worked and how tired were. You were pretty damn good and funny when you did play though. I'd go 100 feet away for a shot and you would too.

All those drunk nights we'd drive past the cemetary and go past the little creek and me being terrified you'd accidently drive in.

Testicle festival, with Kermit, and me being too chicken to hold the AK-47. I cried because I wanted to go home and you were super drunk.

You driving up the dam while slightly intoxicated but first letting me get out because I was terrified of the truck flipping or rolling.

That time you, me, and dick went fishing and you dropped your pole out of the boat but couldn't jump in to get it because dick and I didn't know how to swim.

All the times we played basketball and threw around the football even though you were beat and had worked all day.

Going mushroom hunting and telling me not to talk because the mushrooms would go back in the ground if I did.

Working with you every single day after you picked me up from the bus stop.

Me bitching and complaining every second of it but really enjoying the hardwork.

Shooting off model rockets with you that we got from Wal-mart.

Getting one of them stuck in a tree and having Mr.. J shoot the branch it was stuck on and freeing it.

Drunk driving.

My car accident and your terror when you thought the worst had happened.

After my nose healed back up, going off that little pavillion and pretty much rebreaking my nose. I go back to you, you were in the garage, and you're like did you break your nose again? And I'm like... no what are you talking about.

That awful day.

You busting your ass to reclaim your life and make something out of yourself and to support us.

That time I threw a spoon/something from across the room to get it into the sink, only to have it bounce off the edge of the sink and break the window.

Me acting gangster when my 9 year old self played GTA: San Andreas and for me not to act like a black guy.

My secret clubhouse on the second level of the garage.

Me shooting your beer cans so you can't drink.

Me shooting my BB gun, having it ricochet off the ground and crack the back window.

What you did to Audi.

You AWESOME homemade food, burgers, hamburger helper, mashed potatoes, FRIED CHICKEN.

Casey's Pizza.

Something to do with drunk and naked.

You vowing to never shop at Wal-mart again because the alarms ALWAYS went off whenever we left.

The time you fed Caitlyn Squirrel-kabobs.

Squirrel hunting and making me hold the bag when one of them was still alive.

Being maybe drunk and driving your truck up the lakes dam and me getting out before you did it because I was afraid it would flip.

Us sliding down that same dam and having a bunch of fun.

Me catching a huge bass with your antique lure and the next cast out having the lure come unhooked and losing it.

Digging holes and planting trees at the War Memorial in the 110 degree heat in the summer. 

Swimming at Homers and making that beautiful garden for them that I weed to this day.

Your short shorts for swimming.

You telling me one day that if I could say cigarettes without a lisp that you would stop. You didn't.

Drinking my entire life and quitting cold turkey and turning your life around.

Driving down the road with Caitlyn and seeing what I thought was a cat on top of the electric pole.

Screaming "DEER!" to mess with you when we were driving at night and you slapping the shit out of me.

Getting drunk and wanting to move to Alaska and getting a map and sitting us down to have us all plan it out and how it's going to happen

Getting drunk and deciding to go out camping. It started to rain and I bitched and moaned till you finally gave in and decided to go home, only to get the car stuck in a hole. We sat out in front of George's house when in the morning he came out with his shotgun and nearly shot us both.

Redoing the entire bank a few weeks before it happened..

You installing a SUBWOOFER and nice speakers in your Chevrolet pickup truck and bumping Brass Monkey down the neighborhood.

Getting satelitte TV only to have them call the cops on you because we didn't pay in full and having him remove it before I even got to watch anything.

Taking naps with you in your waterbed.

You being drunk and annoying and probably sadly depressed, jamming Jewel in your room, loud as hell for hours.

You wanting to kill me every single time I got an after school detention and had to come pick me up.

You talking to Michaels mom after he stole my Pokemon? game/cards and wouldn't give them back because he SOMEHOW found out I stole his Jurassic Park game that was deep in his messy closet.

You giving me a makeshift "the talk" speech on the porch one night.

Sitting in lawn chairs in the back yard watching the stars and talking at night.

You eating a few chips and somehow taking 30 minutes to chew it.

Me and Caitlyn locking ourselves in her room and cutting the screen to get out.

When I first started going through puberty I would obsessivly put on armpit deotorent so I didn't smell. I would take a shower at night and put it on because I thought I would start smelling but you always told me not to and if I do I will see what happens. I have no idea to this day why you never wanted me to put it on before I got into bed and went to sleep but I did it a couple of time and do it nowadays and nothing bad has ever happened.


Recent Game Medals

Fondled! 5 Points Mr. Lester... First name Mo. Medal Stats.
BE SOMEBODY 5 Points Run away, and begin your escape. Medal Stats.
Winner 5 Points Complete 1 level Medal Stats.
Wrecking Ball 5 Points Die first time Medal Stats.
Adventure Time! 10 Points Start new game Medal Stats.
Support & Share 5 Points Support us, or share this satire of social media on social media. Medal Stats.
Bad Score 5 Points Think of this as a consolation price. Medal Stats.
SECRET MEDAL 5 Points Unlock this medal to see it's details. Medal Stats.
SECRET MEDAL 5 Points Unlock this medal to see it's details. Medal Stats.
SECRET MEDAL 5 Points Unlock this medal to see it's details. Medal Stats.

Total Medals Earned: 500 (From 112 different games.)